Tour Prep: Crisis Of Confidence
My west coast tour begins next week. Over the weekend, that reality came crashing down upon me in the forms of exhaustion, anxiety, and self-doubt.
With just ten days to go until my six week west coast tour begins I should be raring to go and amped up with excitement. Sadly, I am not. I hit a wall this weekend as the impending start to tour came into sharper focus. The weight of all that is left to accomplish, and the myriad unknowns of the trip have suddenly driven my worry into overdrive.
Logically, I should be feeling confident. I had set out to book a very ambitious 30 show run on this trip and as things stand, I have 25 of those dates already confirmed and ready to roll. Yes, the open dates still hanging out there are a disappointment, but 25 gigs is nothing to sneeze at. My summer tour was also a smashing success. So, my current itinerary and recent history would suggestthat I have a very good chance of repeating that success on my run out west. Still, I struggle to tamp down the worry.
There are a number of factors that make the western trip different from the summer tour. First, it’s simply a lot longer and further away from home. This trip is going to clock close to 10,000 miles, and finds me headed all the way out to the Pacific and back. I worry about the Buick, and other drivers, and the terrain that I could face if weather conditions get sloppy in the mountains.
This set of dates also features a much larger percentage of conventional bar shows which often pay far less than house concerts. These types of shows are also far less reliable for merch sales. Another downside of typical venues, is that unlike house concerts, these bar gigs almost never come with a place to crash. That one-two punch of lower payouts each night and significantly increased hotel expenses has me quite concerned about making ends meet on the road.
On the summer run, I had friends at nearly every stop. My sojourn west will certainly have me seeing a load of wonderful people, but the connections on the route are more sporadic, and I worry about feeling more isolated than I did on the summer trip, especially when factoring in an additional two weeks on the road.
I’m not sure if this cold feet, or me finally realizing the enormity of this undertaking. Either way, I spent the weekend under the weight of it. I seriously questioned whether I was capable of pulling this off. I ran through the litany of terrifying what-ifs. I wondered how long I could keep up with this silly dream.
If this tour is not a success, I am terrified for what the future might hold. I am doing my best to eke out a living by pursuing my passions. These tours are an integral part of that, and I am filled with fear that it could come crashing down at any moment. Living the artist’s life is not for the faint of heart.
Still, here I am bright and early on a Monday morning. Today I will drive, pack, plan, promote, and work some more to fill those last five dates. I’ll keep up that daily routine until it’s time to hit the road in just ten days.
In the meantime, I could use any support you would be willing to lend. The Sheddio On The Road Shop is open now, and your support there would be a huge help. Grab a t-shirt, sweatshirt, sticker or get enrolled in our Postcard Program. All orders placed there provide direct support for the tour.
You can also support the tour by making a one-time donation via Venmo or PayPal. These donations help to pay for gas, hotels, granola bars, and the like. Any help you want to lend to support the cause is most deeply appreciated.
Thanks for being a listening ear, my friends. These are tense times, but I know there will be better days ahead out on the road. I can’t wait to see you out there. Thank you so much for your support and friendship. It means the world tome.
Cheers,
Matty C
Look motherfucker, YOU ARE MATTY C. You work fucking hard! You do good things. Sing great songs. Touring is hard. For everyone. Eddie Kirkland used to carry a transmission in the truck when he toured. He bought it when he could afford it, and it stayed with him like a talisman. I know for a mathmaatical certainty that this tour is going to go exactly as it should. You are a road dawg man! You got this. I believe in you.
You go out there and have the TIME OF YOUR LIFE! It’s like Liam Gallagher says about this life of ours, “you only get to do it once.”